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Although dating apps are now the mainstream when it comes to meeting new people, it's important to be cautious. While it's safe to assume not everyone is out to catfish you, there are still dating app red flags that need your attention. But the problem is when your head is in the dating game and you're really looking for 'the one,' either for a night or the long-haul, seeing those red flags isn't always easy. In fact, they could be right in front of you, practically screaming, and you still might miss them.
'Online dating is by its nature a judgmental beast,' master confidence coach and host of the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast, Kara Loewentheil, tells Bustle. 'Most of us could stand to dial down our judgments about [potential matches] and give dating more of an open-minded chance. At the same time, keeping an eye out for certain red flags will help save you time in the long run!'
While some red flags are completely obvious (bragging about their sexual prowess, half naked photos, and blatant racism, sexism, or other bias, just to name a few), others may not catch your eye as even being a red flag. And of course, use your best judgment when swiping — not everything on this list might feel like a dealbreaker to you, and you ultimately know best what you're looking for.
But being aware of potential red flags from the get-go can save you a lot of trouble down the line. Here are 19 of the most commonly-missed dating app red flags, according to the experts.
'When people first tend to move to a new place [and] just adjusted to their jobs, meeting new friends may be the priority rather than getting into a serious relationship,' Stefanie Safran, founder of Stef and the City, a professional introduction service, tells Bustle. If you're up for a new friend, then by all means swipe! But if you have something more romantic in mind, let them meet new friends first. If they're still online in a few months, then consider swiping on them if you're still interested.
Anyone who's been on a dating app, for even a few minutes, has seen the on slot of endless bathroom and gym selfies. According to Rubin, these types of photos can be a red flag because they show that someone is 'self-impressed' — aka, a narcissist.
A static profile is obviously going to be different than a person's dynamic conversation, but if the vibe is totally off between the two, it could be a red flag.
'For example ... their profile is pretty chill, yet they comes off as aggressive,' Claudia Cox, founder of Text Weapon, tells Bustle. 'Everyone has a personal brand; it’s the way they present themselves to the world. If theirs is all over the place, then you should be concerned.'
'If the only pictures someone has of themself include other people, they could either be very insecure or recent out of a relationship (or maybe not yet out of a relationship at all!),' Hoffman says.
We all have friends; there's no need to showcase it in every photo on their profile.
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